Dipalie | 04
Dipalie | 04
Dipalie is bundle of happy energy. Anyone who knows her can attest that she's always the life of the party. But behind this happy exterior, there's a mammoth struggle that she's had to endure to find herself, and to come out to her parents.
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From MotorMouth Podcasts
Created by Prateek Sharma
From MotorMouth Podcasts, I’m Mahir and you’re listening to Queer’s The Word, a show where I reach out to and have candid conversations with LGBTQ+ folks and bring to you their stories, experiences and everything queer.
For today’s episode, I spoke to Dipalie, a marketing consultant from Delhi; and now I bring to you her story. Her preferred pronouns are she/her.
Back in school, Dipalie was quite the loner; she wouldn’t get along with a ton of people for she didn’t understand social cues and interactions as much as her peers did. That’s when her mom stepped in and asked her to find company in books and so she did. As she was introduced to more and more books, Dipalie came across some amazing characters and would be attracted to them irrespective of their gender. Thus, the lack of interaction with a social group coupled with the non-existence of conversations revolving around sexuality in a conventional Indian household, led to her understanding of love and relationships to be an outcome of her attraction to these characters. And so, even before she was acquainted with the term, she believed that everybody is pansexual and only those who wish to have kids make a conscious choice of getting into heterosexual relationships. It wasn’t until college that she realised that she might’ve been a tad bit wrong and that people often have to hide their sexualities in order to protect themselves from society. But being in a literature course helped as she became friends with people who would correct her if she would ever go wrong.
From discovering herself through books to finding long term companionship through her literary groups, Dipalie’s story is certainly a one to be celebrated. Almost about 6 years ago, she was hosting a poetry event, when a friend – who she’d also met through a poetry group – picked her up and said “My sister is gay and I think you two would get along pretty well.” So he took her home and that’s where Dipalie met Ayesha, but it was far from a perfect first date. While Dipalie was actively trying to strike up a conversation, Ayesha would only reply in monosyllables. So after a rather disjointed first exchange, Dipalie concluded that there wasn’t much to be explored with this snooty-recently-returned-from-London-sound engineer. Though she did remain friends with her brother and also her father, whom she would often borrow books from. Fast forward to a house party two years after their first interaction, Dipalie was stunned when Ayesha greeted her with a bear hug as she entered the drawing room. It turns out she was looking forward to seeing Dipalie as the rest of the attendees weren’t as fun as she was and so the two spent time at the party together playing beer pong and getting to know each other. They also shared an almost fairy-tale like kiss on a moonlit balcony and two have been inseparable ever since. Dipalie says that they would hang out every day and their bond seemed very natural; it felt as though they’ve known each other forever.
Dipalie and Ayesha’s sublime love story was indeed accompanied by tiny hiccups. When Dipalie decided to come out to her parents, she knew it wouldn’t be easy; it didn’t help when her mom implied that if her father ended up hurting himself it would be because of Dipalie. But then she realised that one lies about what they’re ashamed of so she did come out to her mom and said that Ayesha had all the qualities she’d wanted to see in her daughter’s partner. She never emphasized on the qualities being in a man, so it wasn’t Dipalie’s problem to deal with. With time, things have certainly gotten better. Everything isn’t utopian but she says Indian parents have their own way of showing their acceptance to their queer kids. There are times when her mom calls Dipalie to specifically inquire about Ayesha’s well-being and it’s the little things that make a difference.
On the other side of the break, I will be sharing with you a short poem I’ve written exclusively for the absolute riot that Dipalie is.
Welcome back! This is Queer’s The Word from MotorMouth Podcasts and I’m Mahir. Today, I’m sharing with you Dipalie’s wonderful story but is it all unicorns, rainbows and glitter?
Not to undermine the need and the significance of uncomfortable conversations and struggles that queer people face but sharing stories of queer happiness give the entire community the strength to keep having those uncomfortable conversations. It’s not that Dipalie’s story has been all joy and no pain but as she speaks to me, she’s telling her story for herself and she chooses to highlight the parts where she was strong. For she survived the difficult parts and she’s proud that she did.
And now, it’s time for me to share with you a short poem I’ve written for our person of the day – Dipalie.
in a rasoi with broken walls that age,
she cooks up a storm
that fill the belly with chilis and mustard;
much like her words that calm the fraught mind
and warm a heart bleeding on ice;
like dying melodies of a folk song
that echo in chambers
lined by sepia papyrus,
her library of stories
must be preserved
for the children of Stonewall
need more cackles than chuckles.
Thank you for listening to this episode of Queer’s The Word.
If you identify as LGBTQ+ and would like to share your story with us, you can reach out to me. My email address and Instagram handle are mentioned below.
I’ll see you in the next episode.
Meanwhile, you can follow us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook – our handle is @MotorMouthPods
You can also check out more episodes of this show and other MotorMouth Originals on our website – motormouthpods.com
You can find music and other credits in the episode notes.
This episode was written and hosted by me, Mahir.
Sound production, design and mixing by Prateek Sharma.
Our show cover art is designed by Rishikant.
Our Creative Director is Gargie Sharma and this show is
Executive produced and created by Prateek Sharma, for MotorMouth Podcasts.